Why yes, officer, I did just go to a garage sale…
So I’m single now.
and a couple people who I suspected had crushes on me wayyy back before I started dating her (but who haven’t talked to me like at all the past year-plus) are blowing up my phone.
Could y’all be any more transparent?
Proof that Eddie still has it.
I just got back from Madison and omg.
I had to ride with my friend, Louis, and he has this 1976 Plymouth Duster and it is a piece of shit, only has lap seatbelts, is really rusty and yeah. well, we were following our friend in her Lexus, and we get onto the highway and she started accelerating and Louis kept up with her, and I looked over (I was in the middle of the front bench seat) and we were going 100mph. that fucking car was shaking like no other, I thought I was going to die.
I kind of want to cop this chain…
It’s a beautiful day.
yeah, but it’s still Cleveland.
Fuck yeah.
i speak three languages: american, bitches and money
My eventful life!
And another day in Cleveland draws to a close…
I never thought I would say this, but…
I need a teapot.
does this mean I’ve actually turned into a real adult?
Every morning I wake up in Cleveland,
and I step out of my apartment, and my reaction is always the same:
“Jesus. that condom wrapper has been there for three months.”
